help, please.

i cant escape the pain. it's at home, it's at school. it follows me round like a dark rain cloud. i try so hard to just tell myself what is happening to me is just life, but now im starting to think otherwise. on the brink of tears i am constantly searching for something to make things feel atleast a little bit better, but now even one of the only things keeping me sane is gone. i feel so dirty and used thanks to you, but you dont even have anything to say. at home, even the tone in your voice scares me now. it's like walking on a minefeild, one wrong step and ill be dead (almost literally). i need a break from things, im going insane.